As I sit here on the eve of our 15th wedding anniversary to the love of my life I am so grateful to have him as my partner in life. Just three short weeks ago, I was racing home from Cape Cod to be at his side in the emergency room. He had called me to tell me he wasn’t feeling well. After I pressed him a little he admitted he was having “discomfort”, code word for chest pain. I told him to call “911” and frantically started on my way home. It was a long ride home with so many thoughts going through my head; making deals with God for everything to turn out OK and trying to keep my composure while avoiding getting a speeding ticket. Tonight, nothing gives me more joy than to see him on the couch with Roxy and know he is recovering and still here.
About two months ago he and I both started eating healthier. His doctor had told him to stop eating flour, eliminate sugar (except naturally occurring sugar) and to just eat meat/fish, vegetables and fruit (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and apples). In essence, we were starting toward the road of eating Paleo. Since starting cardiac rehab we have both really gotten serious. It has been a tough but a necessary shift in our eating.
As I said in an earlier post, the sugar break is hardest for me. I thought I was doing OK until I wasn’t feeling well yesterday, morning. I didn’t feel hungry when I left the house and didn’t pack a lunch. Just before noon, I began to feel hungry. I ordered a sandwich in a wrap and potato chips. I don’t each chips often anyway but yesterday they did taste good.
Immediately after eating my lunch I was upset with myself. How can you just lose perspective for those few moments and eat what you will regret 15 minutes later? It really wan’t worth it. When I got home and looked back on my day I realized what I had eaten and then realized two of my triggers…being tired and not planning. Wow. How many times have I heard that when we get tired or run down we can start to crave carbs! I guess it must be true! I stopped beating myself up at that moment.
What a difference a good night’s sleep can make. Today was better. Tomorrow I will wake up and try again. It is so much easier to make an error, self-correct and keep going. Starting over is much harder that just straightening out my path.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to start and end each day with my husband by my side. I am also grateful for the ability to change my perspective of “not starting over” but instead “self-correcting” and continuing. God is good. Life is good.