I have been reading my past blog entries from 2014 leading up to the anniversary of my Mom’s death. Writing for those 30 days leading up to the anniversary helped so much. It was cathartic. That is why I am writing again.
Three weeks ago I jumped off a cliff and went to CrossFit. I was so scared but in classic Linda fashion, I jumped in and then yelled as I was falling. The landing was fine though; in fact it was like a trampoline. I bounced back and went the next day and the day after that. I took the fourth day off and went back again. I am now on week three (or four, it doesn’t matter). What does matter is that I feel more alive than I have in a very long time.
I find myself looking up the WOD (CrossFit lingo for Workout of the Day) the night before and then googling any moves I haven’t done before in preparation for the next day. I look forward to working out. I don’t find myself making excuses in advance on why I won’t be able to get there. In fact, I build in contingencies so if I can’t make the 5:30am session I have another option. My gym bag is now a regular fixture in my car. (No worries, the clothes are clean).
I can feel myself getting stronger day by day. And the best part is I don’t just mean physically. I feel stronger mentally as well. I truly believe you need to rise each day and choose joy. And not just choose it, but protect it; not let anyone steal your daily joy. I defend it like a mother lion defends her cub. Each day is a new day with new joys, new ups and downs. I can proudly say, in this moment, that depression is something I had. It is not something I have. I know all to well how quickly depression can sneak up and take you by surprise. And that is why choosing joy and exercising are so important. Today was great and who know what tomorrow may bring. What a difference each day makes.